Losing Control
by ReversedSam
Summary: It's smut, again. You're shocked, I know. I am too. I'll try and give it up for lent... Don't read if femslash ain't your thing.


**Disclaimers: They're not mine, but I promise I'll have them back by  
midnight.**

**A/N: All mistakes and British spellings are mine.**

**A/N: Thanks to wee idgie for the help.**

**Yet more from the 'it's sat there for years unposted' folder.  
**

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**Losing Control**

With a final look around the room I nod to myself. Not over the top, she wouldn't like that, just nice and relaxing. It's funny how setting up a room to seem relaxing takes hours. Still, it's all part of my plan, my plan to drive Sara absolutely wild, to get her to finally give in and lose control with me.

We've only been together about three months, and she made me wait for two of them before she finally stayed the night. But Jesus was she worth the wait, just like I knew she would be. She needed to be sure this wasn't about sex, I was perfectly happy to give her all the time she needed. Not that I didn't try to change her mind a time or two, for no other reason than I wanted her so badly. But the woman has more will-power than anyone I've ever met - which brings me to my little plan for today.

Sara is an amazing lover, attentive, passionate, gentle, intuitive everything you could want, but I know she's holding some of herself back. She's never let herself lose control, and I want her to. I've seen glimpses of it and those alone have been enough to send me over the edge. She has so much raw passion and intensity just bubbling away under the surface, but she keeps it in check. I have some ideas as to why, but I want her to know she can lose control with me and I'll still be here after, that I trust her to never hurt me under any circumstances. So I'm going to do everything I can think of to get her to let go today.

I've had this day planned all week, Linds is at my sisters for the next two days and I made sure we both have tonight off. Sara had some things she wanted to check in the lab today, which was perfect because it gave me some time to set everything up.

I went shopping while she was out, stopping by Frederick's of Hollywood and picking up the sexiest black lace bra and panty set they had. Then a stop by the 'adult' store to get the thing I hoped would tip Sara over the edge. A seven inch deep blue strap on, not too big, I knew she wouldn't go for anything over the top. I almost came right there in the shop when I saw it and imagined it on Sara with her doing what I hope she'll be doing later, fucking me senseless.

I started putting my plan into action yesterday, teasing her all night at work. I remember I almost lost control myself in the car on the way back from our scene; my hand was on her thigh before the car even moved and I teased her mercilessly. I was mere seconds from giving in and sliding my hand down the front of her jeans when she pulled into the lot outside the lab. I kept up the torment until half an hour before our shift ended. Then suddenly when we got home, I was really tired. I almost laughed out loud at the look on her face, not that I blame her. I was wound up myself too but I wanted her to be absolutely desperate for me.

This morning I let her sleep late. I had a rough idea what time Greg would call to tell her that her results were ready, so I made sure to tease her some more before he called. I woke her with kisses that had her moaning and writhing beneath me in no time. So much so, she wasn't the only one disappointed when the phone rang.

I grab the phone as I head towards the shower. I know she'll be home soon so I figure I'll torment her a little more.

"Hey you," she answers after a few rings.

"Hey baby," I purr, lowering my voice a little.

"You okay?"

"No. I'm far from okay." I keep my tone light, I don't want her worrying.

"What's up?" I can hear the amusement in her voice.

"Mmm, well, I was just thinking about this morning before you left and I seem to have got myself a little worked up."

"Ah." she responds.

"And since you're not here to help me out, I'm going to have to…"

"Don't even say it!" The growl in her voice sends a shiver down my spine. "You have no idea how much I want you right now."

"Oh I think I do. I've been thinking about you all morning." I hear her breath catch a little and can't help but grin as I push on. "Want me to tell you exactly what's been on my mind?"

"God, Cat, I'm at work."

I choose to completely ignore her. "I've been thinking about you, naked, on top of me, making me scream as you take me." I hear a soft groan and I know I'm getting to her. "I've been shopping while you've been at work. Splashed out on a little something black at Frederick's, I'll be in it when you get home."

"God, Catherine." She sounds desperate, and I smile to myself.

"I picked up something else too, but you'll have to wait till you get home to find out what that is."

Her voice is shaky as she speaks. "Tell me what it is, I promise I'll reward you." she husks, and I almost give in.

"Tempting baby, but you'll do that anyway, like I said, you have to wait. Hurry up okay, or I'll have to take care of things myself." With that I hang up the phone, leaving my baby in pretty much the same state I'm in.

An hour later I'm showered and wearing my new lingerie and silk robe. When I hear the front door open I'm out of my seat in seconds and on her before she can even close it behind herself.

"Mmm," I sigh as I kiss her, pushing her up against the door as it closes. "God I want you, I've wanted you all day." I tell her between kisses. Her hands move to the tie on my robe but I stop her and pull away. "Feeling a little impatient baby?" I tease.

She grabs my hips and moves me towards the bedroom. "You have no idea, although I am about to show you," she smiles.

I let her guide me until we're in the bedroom then I grab her hips and turn her around, pushing her onto the edge of the bed and straddling her. Okay Cat, time to turn up the heat.

"Do you want me Sara?" I ask, slowly untying my robe, watching her pupils dilate as it hits the floor and she sees my underwear.

"God, yes," she gasps, her hands move to touch me but I stop her. Her eyes are all over me. That alone makes me ache with want for her. "You look…" Her words trail off as her eyes settle on my breasts.

I lift her top over her head and throw it across the room making quick work of her bra before lowering my mouth to her neck and pressing myself against her. I roll my hips slightly as my hands move to her breasts. The effect is immediate and her low groan is sexy as hell. I slowly kiss and lick my way up to her ear. "Sara?" I husk, she hums and I know I have her attention. "I want you!" Her hands move once more, obviously about to grant my wish but I stop her again. My mouth travels lower as I slide myself from her lap, kneeling between her parted legs, moaning into her overheated skin as I wrap my lips around a hard nipple, laving it with my tongue.

"Fuck, Catherine," she hisses, her hand moving to the back of my head. Let's see if I can't turn the heat up a little more. I'll be a little more specific, I know how that affects her. As I kiss my way to her other nipple I tell her exactly what I want from her. "I don't think you understand baby. I don't want you to make love to me; I want you to fuck me. I want to feel you inside, taking me, making me yours." A long, low groan is my reply.

Hooking my fingers in her panties I smile to myself as she lifts her hips and helps me remove them. Moving my mouth to her midriff I kiss downward until I'm inches away from where she wants me most, and it takes every ounce of will power I have not to cover the remaining inches and make her scream. I can feel her body trembling, her grip in my hair is tighter and I can feel the frustration now. She's dying to take control, and I'm really hoping she does, hoping she realises her self-control isn't needed right now. I think it's the perfect time to show her exactly what I want.

Quickly making my way back up her body, loving her disappointed groan. Bracing my hands on her shoulders I stand up again, pulling her with me. "Want to see what I got you?" I give her a quick kiss before turning to the bedside cabinet. I feel a little nervous as I open the draw, what if I've read this completely wrong? Still, there's no going back now. I lift the strap-on and turn to face her, biting my lip as her eyes come to rest on the new toy.

* * * * * *

Jesus fucking Christ! I can't breathe. I can feel my whole body trembling. The way Catherine is looking at me as she holds up her new toy is testing my last bit of self-control. She has no idea the amount of times I've fantasised about fucking her with one of those. I know I could have just told her, asked if she wanted to try it, but I didn't think she'd understand. I want her writhing and moaning, begging me to fuck her. I want to make her mine so completely that I don't think I'd be able to keep control, and I respect her too much for that.

She walks towards me and leans in to purr in my ear. "I could come just thinking about you using this on me… in fact, I have."

"Fuck." I feel my jaw clench, she's dangerously close to making me lose it and when I see the look in her eyes at my response, it dawns on me that that seems to be exactly what she wants.

She wordlessly drops to her knees and looks up at me as she holds out the harness, waiting for me to step into it. My breath is ragged as I feel her sliding it up over my thighs. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to regain some semblance of control. A second later she's done and I open my eyes to look at her. Her gaze is firmly locked on the dildo, her hand comes up and my breath catches as she trails a finger lazily along it, and then shifts her gaze to meet mine. Her heavy-lidded eyes are almost black with desire, the lust written clearly all over her face. My self-control totally disintegrates as she leans in and without breaking eye contact, slowly runs the tip of her tongue down the length of the strap-on.

Before I've even realised what I'm doing I have a hand in her hair and I've pulled her to her feet, my lips crashing into hers, my tongue pushing its way into her mouth, her answering moan sending shivers through me. She's mine now.

Her bra lasts all of a second, and my hands are on her breast before it's even hit the floor. Roughly massaging, pinching her nipples, making her moan into my mouth. Without warning I push her onto the bed and drop to the floor, my mouth is on her breast and my hands move to her panties, they last about as long as her bra. I feel shockingly proud of myself as I leave my mark on both her collarbone and the swell of her breasts then none-too-gently nip and kiss my way down her body until I'm between her trembling thighs. Her low moans and gasps spurring me on. I suck hard at the inside of her thigh, not stopping until I know I've marked her again. Her hand is at the back of my head but I don't need the encouragement. Wrapping my hands around her thighs I immediately lean in and wrap my lips around her clit, sucking and flicking with my tongue. She comes in seconds, moaning my name long and low. She looks satisfied, but I know she's not yet. Lucky for her I'm nowhere near finished.

"Middle of the bed, now!" I growl as I pull away from her.

Now the fun really begins.

* * * * * *

I'm just coming back to myself when I hear Sara growl a command at me and my libido immediately jumps to attention. I've never experienced anything as sexy as she is right now. Having her lose control like this, and knowing it's because of me, is the ultimate turn on. Plus, I'm certain I'm about to get the fucking of my life.

I follow Sara's command and move myself to the middle of the bed, not really sure where she wants me, that is until she climbs on after me and pulls me to her, moulding herself to my back. I almost come again when she tilts my head to the side and bites down on my neck, sucking hard, marking me. She pulls back and shifts her body a little, repositioning me so I'm on my knees, leaning forward slightly, I wonder why for a brief second until I feel her run the tip of the dildo along my length.

"Oooh my fucking god." Escapes me in sheer desperation, my hips bucking into her, seeking more contact.

"You like that?" Her voice is low and gravely, sending bolts of arousal through me that only serve to add to the flood of wetness she's created.

"God yes." I gasp.

Her hand slides around my hip and she begins teasing her fingers through my curls. My hips buck into her touch, trying to get her where I want her.

"Are you wet for me, baby?"

"Find out." I practically beg. I hear a throaty chuckle at my words.

Her fingers finally slip lower, sliding through slick, wet heat and my head falls back onto her shoulder as the pleasure rolls through my body.

"Fuck." She moans as she feels how ready I am. "Tell me Catherine, what's got you so worked up? Coming in my mouth, or thinking about me fucking you with this?" she asks as she teases my entrance with the dildo.

I can't even think, let alone reply.

"Do you have any idea how often I've thought about this? How many ways I want to fuck you with this?" She pushes me forward once more as she orders. "Now, I want you on all-fours." she growls. I'm helpless to do anything but acquiesce.

"Please Sara." I beg.

"Please what?" Her finger is making slow circles around my clit, and my hips are rolling in time with her teasing, "Is this what you want?" she asks as she slides the tip of the dildo into me. "…for me to fuck you?"

"…Yes…more." I hiss, trying to push back, wanting more of her inside.

A groan of pure frustration leaves me as she pulls back again. "Do you want it enough to beg Catherine?" She purrs as the tip of the strap-on enters me again.

"Sara... please."

"Not enough baby. You have to tell me exactly what you want."

I hesitate for all of a second until I feel her pulling back. I can't take any more of this incredible torture.

"Sara, god baby, fuck me."

A second later I scream her name as she slams into me, filling me. The first thrust completely takes my breath away. The amazing sensations of having her take me like this overwhelming me. Her fingers are still on my clit, her other hand firmly gripping my hip-bone as she fucks me hard and fast. I throw my head back as my hips slam back into her, meeting her thrusts. I can hear myself moan each time she fills me. God, this feels amazing. All too soon the orgasm is building, I can feel it starting low in my stomach and spreading out. I try to hold it off, not wanting this incredible feeling to end. My body is literally trembling and when Sara purrs, "Come for me," into my ear, I have no choice but to obey her. Her name leaves me in a low groan as I come, hard, spasms wracking my body. When she finally pulls out, long after the last spasm, I collapse onto the bed, barely able to move, but I feel her turning me over.

"I'm not done yet."

"Sara I..." I try to protest but amazingly I feel my body respond as she eases the phallus back inside. "Ohhh God."

"Look at me Catherine. I want you to watch me fucking you."

Her eyes are black with desire when I meet them with my own. My hands grip her shoulders as I wrap my legs around her, the change of angle making me moan as new sensations fill my body. I can feel her hips roll as she fucks me and I know I'm not going to last long. She lowers her mouth to cover my nipple and I come again. She eases me down this time, slowing her movement and only pulling out when my body stops shaking. I can feel her placing kisses across my face as the aftershocks continue.

* * * * * *

"You okay, baby?" I ask between kisses to her face. She doesn't even open her eyes, let alone offer a response.

I roll off her, discard the strap-on and move to her side, half draping my body over hers. My eyes catch the angry red mark I've left on her neck. I feel a pang of guilt that immediately intensifies as my eyes travel over her, taking in all the marks I've left on her perfect body. Jesus, what the fuck have I done?

"Don't." Her voice is weak but the determination is clear in it. I lift my eyes back to hers.

"Catherine, God I'm so…"

"I said, don't. I knew exactly what I was doing and I loved every single second."

"But I…" she cuts me off again.

"Lost control? I know, that's exactly what I wanted you to do." Clearly she's lost her mind. She rolls us over a little so we're face to face, her hand coming up to rest on my face. "God Sara that was amazing." She gasps. "And no, you didn't hurt me, well okay you did, but in the best possible way." She flashes me a cheeky grin and I can't help but feel a little relieved.

"You're sure you're okay?" If I've hurt her, I'll never forgive myself.

"If you give me a while to get my energy back, I'll prove exactly how okay I am." She purrs and I swear she leers at me. God this woman is incredible.

"I wanted you to lose control, wanted you to know that I love that side of you too. I know you'd never hurt me and I wanted you to know it. I wanted you to see that it's okay to lose control sometimes. Especially when that's the result." Her voice drops and my body reminds me of just how aroused I am. "And Jesus what a result, I don't think I've ever come so hard in my entire life."

My eyes close as her words take my arousal up another notch. Her sexy chuckle only adds to the effect.

"Feeling a little worked up baby?" She intones as her fingers find my nipple.

"Oh yeah." She has no idea how much of a turn on taking her like that was.

"Mmm, let me help you out." She pushes me onto my back, covering my body with her own. "It'll be hard to think of something to repay you though."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll think of something," is my last coherent thought as her Is my last coherent thought as her mouth travels down my body.

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**Thanks for reading.**


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